Her Light

We live a thousand miles apart but I can feel her in my soul. The sound of laughter in her voice makes me smile. She is the perfect amount of everything I am not.

We aren’t wired the same, but we share the same blood. We have the same past, to a point. We love a lot of the same people and we have different dreams. Sometimes, I can close my eyes and see her. It’s like she is sitting next to me, holding my hand.

She is home or what home used to be. She was always long and lanky, I think. I was jealous of her beauty, but beauty means nothing if you use it to your advantage. That is the one thing she has never done. She cares more for others than she ever has for herself. She has goals, she has plans and she has credibility.

The ways we are alike are astounding and the ways we are different are immense. If I had to pick one word to describe her, it would be: multifaceted. I see her face and light pours from her edges. It’s the glittery light you see reflecting off the water. It’s the light you want to touch, the light of star clusters. It’s the same lazy light at dusk that you silently will to stay. It’s the light you see in the delivery room right before your baby is born. It’s the first light on the morning after you become sober. It’s the light that Jesus puts on your heart, the closer you get, the warmer it feels.

You don’t know her, not like I do. She may be many different things to you, but she is never more to you than she is to me. I share her with the world not by choice, but by necessity. She is needed, her goodness, her light. You see, there aren’t many like her. She was given to me as a gift. She is here to remind me that not all people are bad. Not all hope is lost. Not all things fail.

Do not underestimate her, you can’t breathe without her either.

For Caitlyn.