Cankles and Cowboy Boots, No Bueno

What is it about a woman’s legs/ankles during pregnancy? It must be the fact that the baby is pushing down on every single thing below your bra that causes all the fluid in your body to go straight to your ankles. This is my second pregnancy, so I guess I should have expected it again. Call me crazy…but I really examined my ankles the other day. I even said to myself…”I think I can see my ankle bones…maybe they won’t swell this time.” Notice I said “I think” I can see my ankle bones. Honestly, it’s a struggle to see anything below this large watermelon someone so generously asked me if I swallowed. Now, back to the ankles/cankles. The thing that makes me the most sad is that I can no longer fit said cankles into my fabulous cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are the essential must have outfit piece here in Texas. You can wear them with a dress, you can wear them with shorts, you can wear them with jeans, or you can wear them with nothing. They are that thing that makes you feel sexy when you are walking away. They give you confidence. They say “look at me.”
I love every single pair of my boots. The problem is that my boots don’t love me when I’m pregnant. They allow for no “give.” This hurts my feelings beyond explanation.
I have some fabulous boots. The problem is that no matter how fabulous your boots are…they never look fab when you have two oversized sausages stuffed into them. Last time I was preggo, I tried shooting some of my maternity pictures in a pair of my boots. The result was hideous. If I still had facebook I would look the picture up and insert it here. Let’s be honest, I’m double L these days (large and lazy). Just take my word for it…I looked like I was in pain. My husband also had to pull them off of me!
All of this brings me back to my solution. I own a pair of boots, non-cowboy in design. They are leather and they have a large piece of elastic in the back. This piece is good and stretchy. I can wear them when I’m preggo and when I’m not. My question is this, why can’t they make a pair of cowboy boots like these other “fit all stages of my life boots” that I own? Surely, I am not the only large woman who has swelling in that area who also enjoys wearing her boots? I just want to scream!
I feel it necessary to note that no boots were injured in the writing of this post. (Hey, I’m hormonal…you never know.)



Dark World

Do your dreams define you? Do they always push you to want more from yourself? I want more from myself everyday. I want my dream career. I want the things I write to be important to me. I want to look back one day and be proud of my accomplishments. (I don’t particularly care what anyone else thinks of them.)
I am on a journey. My journey is to be the best wife and mother I can be. It is also to be the best me I can be. I don’t want to wake up when I’m 80 and regret not trying at my career goals. All I have wanted for as long as I can remember is to “be a writer.” What does that mean exactly? I’m not sure. I’m not ashamed to say that either. It can mean so many things. It could mean that I sit at a desk every single day and have a boss or it could mean that I have a small space in my house or my yard where I go to write when I feel inspired.
Either way, I want to know that my career is mine. I’m not defined by a box. I don’t necessarily need a title. I need to live and breath for inspiration. I need things that give me a reason to want to be better. I need to remember that I can make my own rules. I may not be able to pull this off in other areas of my life…cough, cough…potty training my son, but I can do it when it comes to expressing myself through my work. I can never truly be at peace with myself if I don’t attempt to unleash my creative beast.
I’m not giving up on my dreams. It would be a dark world without them.