Today is our three year wedding anniversary. I know, three years isn’t a big deal. It’s not ten, twenty or fifty. I’m not going to pretend like it’s any less important than a decade though, because it is important. It’s important to me to celebrate even what may seem like the smallest of feats. I chose that specific word for a reason.
plural noun: feats
1. an achievement that requires great courage, skill, or strength.
Three years of marriage has been a FEAT. I love my husband more than any words from the greatest writer could ever describe. He gives me strength. He holds me up. He balances me. He makes me want to be a better person. He educates me. He supports me. He encourages me. He is part of me. There is no other person in this world who understands me like he does and I’m not only talking about the good parts of me. He understands the whole, imperfect me. That is something I never knew I had or even knew I needed three years ago. (Because, let’s face it, when you first get married, you are covered in that “just married” dust. You know the kind, it makes all bad and scary things about marriage seem like they will never touch yours.) What I have learned in the last three years is that our marriage, just like our life, is always evolving. New jobs, children, moves, stress, hobbies, diets, friendships and community are just a few of the things that constantly change throughout our lives. So, it is unrealistic for me to think that with all of those things changing, that anyone’s marriage ever stays the same. Yes, you can have constants in your marriage like loyalty, trust, love and friendship, but marriage evolves from the changes in your lives as a couple and your lives as independent people.
I realized today that half of our married life, we have lived away from each other. I have so many wonderful friends and family who call and check on me all the time. I think the number one question I hear from most is, “How long has it been since you have seen Ben?” I answer them honestly. “Oh, I saw him last weekend” or the current answer “about a month.” This usually prompts the response, “I don’t know how you do that, it must be so hard.” Here is the simple and honest answer. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I do struggle. Yes, sometimes I am selfish and want him to give up his dreams for me and his kids. Yes. Yes. And yes.
With that being said, marriage is not easy. It’s not for wimps. It’s not for quitters. My husband has given me so much to be thankful for in this lifetime. When I hear his voice, it moves me. When I see him, I beg for time to stand still. What will marriage feel like in 3 more years? In seven more years? In 20 more years? I don’t know. All that I do know is that love and marriage are great achievements that deserve to be celebrated. That is exactly what I intend to do.
To my husband:
Neither time nor distance can ever change the way I feel about you. I wake up every single morning and wish I could kiss you. I tell our son every single day what a great and wonderful man you are. I did not know three years ago what our future would hold, nor do I know now. I do know that I appreciate you, love you and respect you more every day. You have shown me more love in this lifetime than I ever deserved. I love you. Always.