My Vow

I have spent the last few weeks of my life trying to figure out if humans are ever really satisfied. As a whole, we are always looking towards that next thing. We are forever chasing a dream or striving towards a goal. It can prove to be difficult to just stop and appreciate the here and now.
In my world, as in everyone else’s, time escapes me. A few minutes here or an hour there really adds up. I can’t decide if pushing yourself towards something or slowing down to enjoy things is the right way. I know there can be a balance of the two, but more times than not, I find myself pushing on towards something. If I push and push and push, will I eventually wear myself out? If I am always looking ahead and never bask in the moment, am I missing the gifts that God has given me in this life? Am I missing the point of life?
I hear stories about how life passes us by before we know it. I am not 100% convinced that we don’t know it. I think we choose not to see it.
These last three months have been a blur. I feel like my son’s birthday was two weeks ago (two months ago). It will be Christmas next week at this rate. I do believe that a busy person can be a happy person, but what happens when you don’t even have a chance to enjoy your happiness? What happens when your happiness doesn’t look like happiness but instead busyness?
I have vowed to take time to do nothing. I promise myself that I will sit and hold my son. I will take a vacation with my family that has no plans. I will let time catch up with me.
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” -Elizabeth Gilbert



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