Etched Markings

Memories are the things we cling tight to in dark times. They are our secret treasures. They keep us sane. They drive us crazy. They are the keys to our happiness and they can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
This week has thrown me into a vortex of memories. One of my friends is taking that great leap into wedded bliss this weekend. We have been through a lot together. We have dreamed big dreams while we slung drinks behind the bar. We have shared heartaches over “steak dinners” and clung tight to each other in some pretty questionable places.
Memories do funny things to your heart. They brand you. They leave deep, etched markings that can never be seen with a naked eye. Sometimes in life, we are blessed enough to meet a few great people who share those same scars you hide deep beneath the layers. I am honored to say that all our shared memories will go on burning like a spiritual flame. Life can not touch them. Time can not erase them.
This weekend, as my friend gains a husband, I will gain something too. A new opportunity to make memories that include the two of them. The best gift anyone can receive is the gift of friendship. I am honored to be a part of this very special time in their lives and my wish is that the memories they create together that day will smolder and spark in their hearts and minds forever.

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My Vow

I have spent the last few weeks of my life trying to figure out if humans are ever really satisfied. As a whole, we are always looking towards that next thing. We are forever chasing a dream or striving towards a goal. It can prove to be difficult to just stop and appreciate the here and now.
In my world, as in everyone else’s, time escapes me. A few minutes here or an hour there really adds up. I can’t decide if pushing yourself towards something or slowing down to enjoy things is the right way. I know there can be a balance of the two, but more times than not, I find myself pushing on towards something. If I push and push and push, will I eventually wear myself out? If I am always looking ahead and never bask in the moment, am I missing the gifts that God has given me in this life? Am I missing the point of life?
I hear stories about how life passes us by before we know it. I am not 100% convinced that we don’t know it. I think we choose not to see it.
These last three months have been a blur. I feel like my son’s birthday was two weeks ago (two months ago). It will be Christmas next week at this rate. I do believe that a busy person can be a happy person, but what happens when you don’t even have a chance to enjoy your happiness? What happens when your happiness doesn’t look like happiness but instead busyness?
I have vowed to take time to do nothing. I promise myself that I will sit and hold my son. I will take a vacation with my family that has no plans. I will let time catch up with me.
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” -Elizabeth Gilbert

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