I have a million things I should be doing right now…but I either gave my baby something that he is allergic to or he has a really bad heat rash. So, we are snuggled up on the bed letting the fan blow over us. I should be downloading my pictures off my camera. I should be painting my entry way. I should be meal planning for the week. I should be working on an article. I should be working out. None of those things matter when your baby isn’t acting like himself.
Anyway, this gives me a chance to catch up. Lately, I have been thinking about some of the really dumb things I have done in my life. I’m not talking about the typical drink, drank, drunk moments. I’m talking about down right stupid things I did in my younger years. For example, once when I was little, I karate chopped my uncle in his nether regions because I saw it done in a movie. Another time, I was playing with some neighborhood kids. We decided to play “Marco Polo.” Unfortunately, we weren’t playing in a pool. Anyway, long story short, I was screaming “Marco!” with my eyes closed and I walked straight into a down-cable off some kind of electric or telephone pole. I cut my knee wide open. I am certain it should have had stitches. I still have the scar. Once, when I was in middle school, I had a crush on a boy. I figured out that he liked to get food for free. I mean, I was a real genius. What pubescent boy doesn’t like free food? Anyway, I spent my allowance every week buying candy for everyone on the bus ride home. I mean, I couldn’t just give him candy…that would have been so obvious. Oh…oh…wait. I have the best one. Once, in middle school, I let my best friend talk me into trying out for the girls basketball team. By the way, I played basketball when I was in first grade. I hated it. Anyway, I got myself pretty pumped about it. We practiced at my friend’s house every day after school. So, tryouts rolled around. I went in and missed every shot. I was out of breath during the drills and I had no idea what positions did what. At the end of the tryout, everyone was sitting up against the wall. The coaches called a bunch of names, including mine, and everyone else left. Basically, they told us we didn’t make the team. Everyone that had already left was invited back to the next tryout.
I went to my 8th grade dance with a boy I liked. I always wanted to step outside of the box. I always picked the wrong times to do this, case in point, this next little gem is caught on film somewhere. I wanted to try something different. I knew everyone was getting their hair done for the dance. I went and found the most unique hair style I could possibly find. Picture this, every strand of my hair was braided. It was hanging down everywhere. I basically had cornrows. If none of these things seem embarrassing enough, just add in the fact that my maiden name was a name for a man’s genitalia.
Why am I rehashing all these wonderful moments of my adolescence? I think these things have all taught me valuable lessons. I think they have all helped to shape who I am and I think my memories would be pretty dull without them. Well…all except the karate chop! Sorry uncle John!



One thought on “Rehash

  1. I loved this!  Of course, I remembered all of them!  Except the candy incident. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s